Space Shenanigans
by Hoseki13
Summary: A collection of one-shots written based on tumblr prompts, memes, conversations, and everything else the internet has to offer. Might be boring, might be fun. But one thing we can all agree, Shiro is definitely the Mom Friend. VOLTRON IS NOT MINE.
1. Assumed Gender

They had stopped at another space mall again to restock and find some useful things.

While wandering around the huge space mall, Pidge and Lance had found themselves standing in front of the toilet's entrance, staring at the weird signs glowing in front of them.

"So... which one's the men's room and the ladies' room?" Lance asked after a few more ticks of staring at the unknown.

Pidge just shrugged, remembering the first time she had faced this problem, ending up with her not going at all. But now, there's no way she's gonna do that again. "I dunno. But I'm desperate." she answered.

Lance hummed for a bit before he shrugged. "Eh, what the hell? Let's just go with it." he said as he went towards the one with the blue glowing sign. Pidge nodded solemnly before she followed him, grabbing the nearest stall she could reach and slamming it shut.

Lance just chuckled before taking the stall next to her, shutting it close as well.

A few moments later, the sound of the toilet flushing could be heard and both Pidge and Lance stepped out and went to the sink to wash their hands.

At that moment, a humanoid alien with green skin and pointy ears stepped out of another stall and when he saw them, he narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth. "You're not supposed to be here," it hissed.

Lance looked up from the sink, about to say something, when Pidge violently whirled around to face the alien, a dramatic gasp escaping her lips.

"Did you just assumed my _gender?!"_ she screeched, one hand settling on her chest as she overdramatically tried to look offended.

The alien blinked his six eyes in shock. "That's not-"

Pidge cut the alien off with a snort. "You know what? Quiznack you." she promptly held two middle fingers up and slowly backed out of the bathroom, eyes never leaving the alien, until she disappeared.

Lance had to bite his lips as he quietly followed Pidge, and immediately burst into laughter when they got out. "Omigod, Pidge! That was _awesome!"_ he snickered as he held out his hand, demanding a high-five.

Pidge just smirked and high-fived Lance. "I know," she replied coolly before she cackled with Lance, thoroughly enjoying it.


	2. My Sexuality

They had freed another planet from the Galra again and as a way of appreciation, the natives held a party in their honour.

As the paladins spread out and mingled with the crowd, Pidge stuck close by Shiro, following him wherever he went.

Amused and also intrigued, Shiro turned around to look at the youngest member of the paladins. "Why are **_you_** following me instead of Keith?" he asked curiously.

Pidge tilted up to meet Shiro's eyes and gave him a bored look. "I want your hand to give me access to the Galra's database in their ship we had blown earlier." she explained.

"Of course that's your reason," Shiro chuckled. "Alright, I will help you. But _after_ the party, okay?"

Pidge scrunched up her face, thinking about Shiro's proposal before nodding. "Alright." she agreed.

"Now, why don't we enjoy ourselves for now?" Shiro mused as he lead Pidge towards the table that holds a variety of food.

Pidge looked at it skeptically. "I'm not sure we should eat... whatever that is."

When they were near the table, one of the natives approached them, curiousity swimming in their wide, blue eyes. "Fascinating," it said while staring at Pidge. "I've never seen a species like you before. May I inquire about your sexuality?" it asked, clearly interested.

Before Shiro could answer, Pidge took a step forward. With the straightest face she could muster, she looked at the alien dead in the eyes and answered, "My sexuality is science," with the flattest tone she could go.

The alien tilted its head to the side in confusion while Shiro choked on his drink.

 _"PIDGE!"_ Shiro hissed through clenched teeth.

The green paladin flashed him a toothy grin before darting away, cackling at her leader's exasperated face and the alien's confusion.

The alien in question shifted its gaze to the black paladin. "What is 'science'?" it asked, causing Shiro to bury his face into his hands and let out a strangled sound.


	3. Issues

Somewhere on a Galra ship, four paladins ran along the winding hallways, searching for their leader.

"There!" Pidge pointed at a door situated down the hallway. The others followed her lead and with a swift jab of her bayard, the door opened with a sigh.

When they entered the room, they froze in their tracks at the sight of two Shiros facing each other.

"What the hell?" Lance whispered under his breath loud enough for the two previous occupants to snap their attention at the group.

"Everyone!" the two Shiros exclaimed in synched.

"One of them isn't real! We have to get rid of him!" Keith told them, his bayard transforming into a sword.

"Which one is the real Shiro?!" Lance hissed, eyes flitting from one Shiro to the other, confused and unsure which is which.

the Shiro on the left pointed his human finger towards the other Shiro. "He's the fake one! Take him out!"

Instead of having a gun trained on the Shiro he pointed at, the Shiro who spoke up found himself face-to-face with the paladins' weapons. "You're the fake one," Keith declared confidently.

The man wore a surprised look before it dissolved into an amused one. "How did you know? Did you paladins share a spiritual bond with each other or something?" he asked with a smirk, his eyes turning yellow.

"Nope." Pidge denied. "The real Shiro wouldn't pass up the chance to die," she informed the fake Shiro with a thin smile.

Fake Shiro's eyes widened before he turned to look at the real Shiro. "What's wrong with you?" he asked in confused horror.

Shiro just shrugged. "When you live with them," he jabbed a finger at the paladins. "then you'll understand why I want to."

Lance gasped dramatically. "#RUDE!" he exclaimed in mock-hurt.

Fake Shiro could only frown as he kept staring at real Shiro. "You have issues." it finally said.

Shiro gave a small smile in return, his Galra hand glowing with energy. "I know." he said finally before swinging his arm to take down his counterpart.


	4. Sharpshooter

As Lance delivered the last shot, he tapped the side of his helmet, a sign to others that he was done.

 _"Good job, Blue. Return to your Lions and we'll take it from here. Provide cover fire with Hunk."_ Shiro ordered through the coms.

"Copy that." Lance answered before he stood up from his position, stretching a little bit to relieve him from the ache in his body.

Once his bayard returned to its original form, Lance clipped it to his side and jogged down from his hiding place towards an empty spot.

To anyone else, it didn't look like there's anything beside the floras and faunas present on this planet. But Lance knew better. "Hey, beautiful. Open up for me, please?" Lance cooed and immediately, a glimmer of blue appeared in front of him before it disappeared.

With a hum, Lance walked forward and stopped to marvel at the Blue Lion. "man, no matter how many times I see you, you still take my breath away," Lance said in awe.

A purring sound vibrated in his mind, telling Lance that Blue really liked that compliment.

Grinning, Lance stepped into Blue and sighed in content when he felt his mind and Blue's consciousness fused together as one. "Come on, beautiful. Let's go help Hunk." he said and with a loud roar, Blue launched herself from her hiding place and flew towards the sky to join her sister in defending the planet.

The battle was long and perilous but in the end, team Voltron wins again.

Now back within the safety of the castle, the paladins let out a relieved sigh, finally able to relax after the intense fight.

Currently in a room now known as the living room to them, Shiro had taken a seat at the end of the round couch, eyes closed and shoulders sagged, Keith leaning against the black paladin's side with a content sigh. Pidge had snuggled beside Hunk with a tablet in her hands, the yellow paladin sitting comfortably at the middle part of the couch, while Lance had draped himself on the other side, humming a soothing tune absentmindedly.

After a few ticks of comfortable silence, Pidge spoke up. "Lance?"

"Hm?"

"How did you make this shot?" she asked as she flipped the tablet to show a footage.

Lance craned his neck to see, brows furrowed as he watched the recording. When he recognised the scene, he hummed and went back to his relaxed position. "That's because I'm the best sharpshooter, duh." Lance answered with a smugged face.

"But how did you become a good shooter anyway?" Pidge asked, ignoring Lance's smugness as she continued watching some footages in the tablet.

The Blue paladin hummed again. "Well, I have many brothers back on Earth," he said with a wistful smile.

"So they taught you how to shoot." Pidge concluded.

Lance's brows furrowed as he looked at Pidge. "Uh, no. They were being assholes so I made them my shooting targets. It was a good training practice, now that I think about it. Those little shits never know how to sit still."

"Language." Shiro reprimanded, eyes still closed.

Lance just huffed and buried himself deeper into Hunk's side.

Pidge smiled at that before she focused back on the tablet, content at the relaxing vibes coming from her teammates.


End file.
